"There's Only One Everything"

Returned from New York City on Sunday night. Here is a recap of everything that happened: 3, 2, 1...
-Stayed up late on Thursday and watched the Aristocrats--very funny.
-Woke up at 4AM, took a shower and went to the airport with A, K, M & L. Met up with Z, K, M, N, J, and eventually C.
-Ate Terra Blue Chips and watched tv on Jet Blue flight from RDU to JFK. I had a pleasant flying experience even though I might have been the only one who did in our group. Go me.
-Took the AirTrain into the city and then took the subway to Penn Station. Made some dude laugh with my clever train bits and realized that we were such tourists, and no one likes tourists that early in the morning.
-Met up with P, T, and E at the Hostel. Couldn't check in so we left bags there and went hunting for food.
-Ate some greasy b-fast and walked around. Spotted a nipple. C showed up at foodplace. Boys and Girls split up. Saw a woman down by the Hudson wearing a red bikini she didn't need to be wearing. Nipple count - 2.
-Looked at the statue of Liberty through binocs. MILF landing was more interesting.
-Went and drank a beer at Flight 151. Pushy waitress.
-Back to Hostel and checked in, met back up with girls. Went to try and get bracelets for DCM. No success.
-Met up with CB. Went to eat Thai food. Great, spicy Pad Thai.
-Rain. still no bracelets.
-Split up with intentions of Street Ritual in different places. Chaos trying to find everyone. Tehn met up in Union Park. Hilarious.
-Street Ritual involved shouting ridiculous suggestions in unison. Favorites: This is political, All these boys are raping me, Please don't jump, Randy Newman/ Paul Newman, Salad Dressing, Ten-Year olds are bullshit.
-Got into theater and watched Rob Riggle and Rob Huebel, then Stepfathers. Great shows - C got stuck outside. I left to go get her. She was stuck in line.
-Went back to shower. Met up with JJ. Came back and waited in line a bit and finally got in to see more shows. Most were very good.
-Left and went to go get slice o' pizza and on to see Squire. Good stuff, that. Also met up with E&D.
-Hung around for a while and got cranky.
-Saw Jokyr n Jesster. Not bad.
-Went to "Irish pub" that played booty music. Felt out of place and mean. Eventually left and went to bed.
-Sleep.
-Woke up and went for bagels with J, C, and D. Saw a homeless guy that was maybe dead.
-Good bagel.
-Met back up with some folks and went to eat Sushi at giant buffett. Ate some Kraken and awesome Unagi.
-Got full and went to go hang out with Diplomat. Hung out at Starbucks, drank pomegranate soda and saw up some chick's skirt. Ass count - 1. Talked to CC about meeting up later.
-Went to go get ready for MrDip show. Had a good show for a sold out house. Good support by all. I give this show a solid B.
-Booked ass over to watch C's show at the other theater. Caught up with CC, B, and V in line. They came with.
-C's show kicked ass also. We watched TJ Monkey's @ 7:15. A+!
-B, CC, CR and myself went to eat burgers and drink pitchers. Still lots of time to kill.
-Drank more and more. Got drunk.
-Went back to theater to get ready for TOS show. Beatbox preceded and apparently was not an A+ show. TOS show was a C- at best. There is only so much you can do to make a show work when it won't.
-Went back out to drink more. Met up with D, K, H, L, & J. Had a fun time catching up.
-Walked around the corner with CR and co. Nightcap.
-Walked back to hostel and stumbled into bed. Too buzzed to sleep. Didn't crash til 5ish. Still drunk.
-Woke up at 10ish, still very tired. C got me a bagel and it was great. I love her.
-Took a shower and went back to the UCB theater with C and A. Met R and M on the way. Starting to get pumped about the show.
-Went and watched some prov before our set. Got a little nervous b/c not many people were there. S showed up and surprised us. Good guy, him.
-Community Bike knocked it out of the park! A show, felt great about it!
-Went to eat at diner with everyone. Fun times/ grilled cheese.
-C, B, V, D, K, J and I went to Canal Street and SoHo. Had Bloody Marys at a bistro. Lots of models and pretty people in SoHo. I want an old school polaroid.
-Saw street ball walking back toward Chelsea. Megaphone commentators!
-Went back to the hostel to get our bags and meet up with everyone at Penn.
-Rode back to JFK and only got a little turned around. C left a pair of $50 shoes in the bathroom. They were marked down from $433 and were some Italian thing. She was sad. Poor thing.
-Watched House, MD on the way back. Good show.
-Finally got home about midnight on Sunday. Passed out without a problem. Great weekend, overall.

What I learned:
-You can't get away with jokes or BS in front of other improvisors.
-Don't drink to warm up for a show.
-They should call it New York Titty.
-Don't eat airport food.
-Don't leave your shoes in Penn Station.
-Bring enough money to have fun.
-Don't let Japanese kids front you in the buffet line.
-I do not have the guts to make it in NYC. That place would eat me alive.