A Type 1 Survival Curve

Please.

In the figuring out of it all, I have not made the steps I said I going to make to get what I want. There have been too many excuses and snags, but every day I really do feel older and yet farther away from who and where I want to be. I have a decent job, I have a wonderful gal, I have super friends, I am not starving, and I am for the most part healthy. However, there is so much more that I want from myself, just because I know I am capable of it. I want to find my calling, and how to utilize the things that I do well. My Level 3L class started last night, and I felt so confident and wonderful about what I was doing and telling my students. It was almost if a different part of me took over. It felt so effortless, despite my lack of preparation. One kid in there, who was inexperienced but driven, told me after the class: "You have a great way of 'yes-and-ing' people in what you say." I asked for more clarification, but he simply was praising me for making him feel comfortable and right in what he was doing. That felt amazing to me, it was basically him telling me "You teach me well." That in itself felt so powerful and satisfying that it put me in a wonderful mood. Also, my roommate told me recently that I am a great "idea" guy. Which I took to mean that I have great ideas and notions. I agree with him, but I also sense that it might be one of my biggest problems. I am wonderful with coming up with ideas and beginnings, and hell, even adding to things that are already established--manipulation, expansion, that sort of thing. But the execution and follow through are the moments that I get lost. I chose to concentrate my life in a creative field, and now is the time to deliver. There is more I can be doing, more I want to do before I can be complacent. So, forces that be, I hope that you'll grant me the sanity and patience it will take to get involved with my life and my career.

Please.