CGI Can Suck Mother Nature's D!ck

GO ahead and top that, Disney! A TOAD and a MOUSE are BEST FRIENDS! In REAL LIFE!

Keep Foil Wrapper To Put Gum in After Use

I.

Two nights ago,
I dreamt of sticks,

their insect counterparts,
and blue mold in my tea.

No amount of yawning could shake
the felt from my tongue—
its dryness cut my gums to bits.


II.

From the way the lamp is angled,
you can tell that no one lives here.


III.

Anyone

who is anyone

knows you can’t

give up the ghost.


IV.

If time had laments,
it would wonder not
how we got here,
but for how long.


V.

Who the hell
thought up
luck?

A [Touch] Sensitive

I felt like vomiting earlier because of my hypersensitivity. Through a variety of stimuli, I became wrought with the inability to take everything in. Well, I was able to take everything in, but any given sense seemed to be very sensitive for some reason. I walked into the bathroom to rinse my face and was positively overcome with the smell of shit and cheap potpourri air-freshener. The smells were distinct and seemed separate in the air. I walked outside to get some air, and it was so hot and humid I could feel the heat on each of my skin cells. My teeth have been hurting when I eat, not because they are rotting, but because of the actual feeling of food being destroyed under them. The music on my headphones has either been too loud or too soft, and I don't even have the desire to listen to Wilco or The Decemberists. My bones are achy and my eyes, jesus, my poor eyes. I walked from the bus to the office with them closed this morning. And I have not been able to wake up lately, either. I get enough sleep for someone my age, and I have been making serious efforts to improve my lifestyle as of late, so if anything, I am healthier. So whats the problem? Why are my senses keeping me from concentrating? Ack.


Meanwhile: Has anyone read anything by Carlton Mellick III? Please let me know. It seems like just the crap that I love, but who knows?

Gary

There Oughta Be a Railroad

I've decided to begin making the necessary steps to continue my education. Yes, friends, I want to go back to school. Even though I am on what I consider the path to a good career, I also think that I could be doing more with my time. You get this one opportunity to do things and thats that. I think I might be in the midst of what may be known as a "third-life crisis." Meaning I am in my late(-ish) 20's and about a third of the way through my life expectancy. I miss aspects of my youth that I no longer have, but at the same time there feels to be a great deal missing. Supposing I screwed up my first go round in college, I have the motivation lately to do it right the next time. My problem is this: how and what do I do?
Here are a few of my options:

1)going back to an undergrad program and getting a separate degree, probably in education.
2)going to grad school for writing, and hopefully producing a manuscript.
3)doing some kind of lateral entry type thing, where I can study and work at the same time.

Any which way, I hope to be teaching and writing at some point. (Hopefully doing both!)So, this starts today, and I hope to not relent until I have figured something out. (I may go to the library today???)

In Case You Were Unaware of What Genius Looks Like

Kid Icarus and Other Things I Want Again

-Kid Icarus: I never really got past the first stage, but I think I really just loved the music in this game. The Eggplant Wizard was one of the weirdest bad guys around at the time. Not even menacing, just comical and strange.

-Boglins: I dare someone to make a cooler rubber puppet with moveable features and bad disposition. I remember seeing these at "Toys R Us" and thinking that they were the most disgusting toys. I wanted one so bad. I finally got one, and I had it for not long before I outgrew it and the dog chewed it up. Anyway, you could move his eyes and easily change his expression.

-Karate: I want to remember how to kick ass and take names like I could when I was a skinny 14 year old Shodan (Black Belt). I had 3 "Gi" (karate uniforms, basically. pronounced like "key"). One white, one blue, one black. I loved to mix and match that shit. Sure, there were a lot of better fighters out there, but I looked the best when I got beat in tournaments.

-Dinosaur Jr. - Where You Been: I loved this album and the T-shirt with this graphic on it. I loved that freaking shirt. I also loved the song "Out There" (I know your name I know the people out there feel the same I know you're gone I hope you got some friends to come along I know you're out there I know you're gone You can't say that's fair Can't you be wrong? I feel ok Sure, I know that's not what people say Maybe they're wrong Maybe you weren't on my side all along I know you're out there I know you're gone You can't say that's fair Can't you be wrong? I know you're out there You're still a case It's still the place Weren't you invited? It's what you can't spare Whatever's left, just hide the rest And bring it right in I know it's sick I know you think a game is just a trick Maybe I've changed Just tell me was this all in vain? [Solo] I know you're out there I know that space is not a race Weren't you invited? It's what you can't spare Whatever's left, just hide the rest And bring it right in Maintained inside I've lost my range Feel the strain Weren't you invited? Just never try It's still the place You're still the case Now bring it right in )

-Lazer Tag: Come on. Do I need to say anything else? No. I don't.

Let's take a minute to talk about kitten smashing

****Warning, this post contains gross stuff(i.e. kitten smashing). Do not view the link unless you are facinated by gross stuff!*****

This is an example of why I love/hate the internet. But seriously, what the hell is wrong with Asia anyway? Is it our fault? Did America do this to you? I mean, sure, I'm not one to tell you your customs are wrong because they are different. I try not to judge. I'M just saying that maybe you shouldn't stomp kittens to death when there are better things to do with your time. Who can feel good about themselves after smashing a kitten? A puppy is totally understandable, and ferrets are fine, too. But kittens? Bad form, Asia, bad form...

Why The World Doesn't Need Superman

or
How to Cram Overt Innuendo into Every Inch of 150 Minutes of Film



First of all, I would like to apologize to Bret Runestead, as he had to be the sole outlet for my constant nagging and bitting of this film. Sorry Bret, thanks for being a good sport and even jumping in there with me a few times. Secondly, I would like to talk about the things that I REALLY ENJOYED about SUPERMAN RETURNS. Listen up:


1. The Spiderman 3 Teaser - I can't wait, I think that film will be great.
2. The Flying - Great FX, very intense.
3. Consistency - At least this film remained true to the films that preceded it. Once I realized this, it made the movie overall more enjoyable.
4. The subtle tips of the hat - Like the part when Supes lifted the car and the photo Jimmy took was framed exactly like the cover of Action Comics. Good job there, Singer.

That being said, I would also like to report my dislikes. Ahem:

1. It didn't do anything new for the genre - and maybe you liked that. This goes along with the consistency issue I addressed above. While I'm glad they paid so much attention to staying true to the original movies, they forgot about the new audience. This was certainly not "Batman Begins," and I think part of me wanted it to be. All the characters in this film were charicatures of the actors in the first films. This Brandon Routh cat was hand picked to play Chris Reeve, not Superman. Everything he did was Reeve--from his movements to his cadence, he was directed to do everything exactly the same. The same thing can be said for the rest of the actors in this film, which is especially sad for Spacey. I think he would have been a great Lex Luthor if he wasn't too busy playing Gene Hackman.

2. The unintentional humor (I suppose this was actually a "like" as well)- The intentional humor was hackneyed at best, so much so that Posey had a hard time with it. Everything she said felt stilted and awkward. The true gems were hidden in the shitty dialogue, causing me to giggle and make bitsat inappropriate times, surely disturbing my neighbors. ("Call meeeeeeeeeee!") Here are a few of my favorites:
* The moment when the plane is pinballing Lois around since she isn't buckled in. For that matter, every time she got hurt, it was comical. Hit in the head with that steel door? Hilarious! Would she have survived it and reawoken ten minutes later? Never! Come on, even for a comic book movie, that was far fetched.
* "This looks great, I can't wait to read it!" File cabinet bit!
* Fax machine - I mean, come the eff on. A fax machine? On a boat? I mean, its possible, but please...
* "I gots eyes in the back o' my head cause o dis tattoo" guy! "Hey kid, you know chopsticks?"
* I swear Parker Posey looked at the camera in a "really?" sort of way a couple times.
* Casting James Marsden. Hilarious!
*Bret sitting next to me while Lois stares into the computer screen: "Why the World Needs Superman..." Cut to: The computer screen: Why the World Needs Superman. Bret: YES!
*There are probably more. Let me know if you remember any others.

3. The overstaurated innuendos laden across the entire film - If you missed any of them, here they are:
* Don't smoke.
* Lois had sex with Superman.
* Women are naive idiots.
* Clark still can't tell Lois the truth, even though he wants to SO BAD! (Read: If you're gay, then just tell people. It's ok, honest.)
*Greed is bad.
*Terrorism is bad.
*Black people do not exist.
* The world needs a savior, and his name is Jesus...er...Superman...er...Jesus.

4. The plot holes. I'm not even going to talk about this. It's just not worth it.

:razz:

Focus!

I've discovered lately that I am having a hard time focusing at work. Now, maybe its that I am somehow daunted by my lack of experience in my field, or maybe its that I'm literally bored to tears. I realize that with ennui comes distraction, but it becomes seriously difficult for me to concentrate on one thing at a time. So, how do I remedy this? I had thought about perhaps going back on some medication, but that seems like such a waste. I've thought about Wellbutrin, as it not only serves as a mood enhancer, but something to keep you focused as well. I need to do more research on the stuff, as any drug with multiple purposes must have some unwelcome side effects.

In all honesty, I need to just crack down and stop wasting time. It's really as simple as that. I just hope that I am not overworking myself right now. I do stuff everyday. I love that. I love having purpose. It keeps me from being lazy. There would be days and days in a row while I was in Chicago where I would not even change clothes from the night before. It seemed that time passed so slowly back then. I say back then, but it was really just a few months ago (January and part of February). I realize that I've been back in NC for over 2 full months now, and it feels like I just got here. Luckily, the good thing about getting thrown in the pool is that I love swimming (thats a metaphor, but I do enjoy swimming. I digress). So I have not yet felt overwhelmed with everything I am occupying my time with. Work is going ok, but I honestly don't see myself doing this for over a year. I just don't have the patience for this sort of thing. It feels good to get the experience, but my brain is too lateral for something that takes up so many days without reprieve.

I have chosen to start writing again, however, which I am totally happy about. I figure if I can write a page or two a day, then I should have a draft of a novel done within the year. After that, I'll edit the heck out of it, and probably burn it. I hope not, though.

I am supposed to go running with Dave Siegel tonight. I look forward to it. I am already starting to eat better, and getting healthy is a priority for me right now. I guess I want to continue to set goals for myself, and at the rate I am going, I should be in shape in the next few months. Give me a year and you won't recognize me. I'm thinking of taking a Karate or Capoeria class, though I really wish someone offered Kung Fu around here.

Sorry about this long post, but I didn't really have anything I wanted to do more right now than get this stuff off my chest. I suppose thats why people do this in the first place, right?

Word.