fence crooked cops - Nail, peeps moths penetrates firewalls

Merry X-mas and all that shit!

A wheat be vacant - know, that such a right use of your time is having it all

First Thing's First:
Greetings From Sunny Florida!
Also: Merry X-Mas!
And! Get yourselves ready for the HoP overhaul! (more in a moment, but first, THIS!)

Now, I've been to Florida before, but not quite under these circumstances-- being that my parents now live here, so it is part of what I might have to call home from now on. I've noticed that Florida is much different than anywhere else in the US because of its misplaced population (yankees) and living standard deviation (I saw a Lamborghini, a new Bentley, a Rolls Royce, and 2 Dodge Vipers in the span of about an hour. Later, a cluster of overcrowded swamp-bordering mobile homes dripping with poverty.) Tonight, my folks and I went to Hollywood, FL--just south of Boca Raton and just north of Miami--to the Hard Rock Casino. Ho-Ly-Shit-Bat-Man... I have never been to Vegas, but I've heard stories. I can only imagine what that place must be like if this single casino is any indication. Imagine little naive me amongst thousands of people and slot machines, poker tables galore and just enough money in the bank to have a good time. Needless to say, I camped out at a cluster of machines that I felt comfortable with, some video poker style thing that had its bells and whistles, and dropped a bill over the time span of about 6 hours. I was greedy and unprepred for what I was getting into, and when I was sure I had it "figured out," it turned out that I had nothing "figured out" at all. I am in the hole about 80 bones, but wiser for it. Caveat emptor, I suppose. The experience was enriching, overall, because I think of the people watching I was able to take in when I wasn't being enveloped into video poker. It was amazing to see people sink thousands of dollars into these machines as if it were nothing. It felt as if we (myself included) were turned into lab rats in some giant computer maze. Bingo, I found, was the end and beginning of all these machines. There is really no strategy involved in any of them. No matter how you slice it. Which is why no one really had it "figured out." Everyone was just basing their winnings on "luck" which I will kindly defer to its actual nature "chance." Unfortunately, my greed got the better of me, and I left bitter and yet very satisfied with the fun I had. Overall, I give this trip a solid 85. Good fun, good company (my folks), but bad because it is addictive and you come out lighter in the pocket. The experience reminded me of going to a strip club, but with less tits and ass.

Anyway...


It's almost a new year, and it will be almost one year since I've begun maintaining this blog. In that time, I've only posted 70 entries. I know, I know. Well, fear not meine freunde, I plan to really give this thing a nice little kick in the keister and make it virtually unstoppable. I look forward to 2007, as I suspect it to be a very productive year for me in general. I have some exciting collaborative projects in the works, and even a couple that I've only just begun to think of. I want to revisit the novel, and learn a thing or two on my new computaterator.

untangle flagship - Perched on a peak in the Bavarian Alps, the gray granite castle

Dear Neighbors,
This letter should come as no surprise to you, as we have discussed on several occasions the fact that you have disturbed those residing in our house with your late night antics, exuberant ravings at inconvenient times, and consistently annoying habits at ungodly times of the day. I, too, was once a college student and very much in love with the idea of nonstop soirees and cavorting until the break of dawn without fear of responsibility or repercussion. However, this time in my life is over, and I wish to not be a part of it whatsoever-- especially when I desire nothing more than simple, gentle slumber. Last night, I was rudely awakened ripped from my slumber at the sounds of violent screaming and drunken shouting from voices both male and female. This happened not once, but several times, including once early this morning when the sun had begun to rise. I must commend myself, as I issued a great deal of restraint from rising to address the situation, but I didn't think it would be worth the trouble. However, as I noted before, this is not the first time this sort of thing has happened. And even after multiple discussions, you have refused to respect the wishes of myself and my housemates. Mind you, the absence of one such housemate last evening is assuredly the reason your life continues today, trust me! I digress... So now that you have refused to be compliant with our wishes on multiple attempts of our generosity and amiability to your disrespectful selves and cohorts, we too, shall stop being satisfied with the treatment we are receiving in turn. If I am so much as slightly disturbed in my slumber at any point-- whether it be at noon or midnight-- I will not hesitate to call the police, landlord, and or other authority it might take to convince you to cease the mindless drunken disregard you have forced us to be subject to. I will give no other warning, no other mention of this, I will just go to a higher authority to take care of the problem. If this attempt is ineffective, we will resort to less humane and mature solutions. And I should further warn you, we are more vindictive and creative in our revenge than you could ever be in your blatant disregard for us as human beings. If you want a war, fair neighbors, then cross the line. If you wish to keep peace between our houses, consider this your final warning.

Sincerely,
The Canary Castle

Anyway, cows sleep lying down. -hands-off Unless a little blue frog fix it

Not Bundy.
Coming soon.

acquaintance to fall back upon but Captain Sang himself.

I found this amusing. Anyone know who this guy is?

seem transport another place. being beach sunrise.

please?
it's what I need.

I Was Meant for the Stage

(thaks decemberists, once agian for summing up my feelings. Colin Meloy is my hero.)

I was meant for the stage,
I was meant for the curtain.
I was meant to tread these boards,
Of this much i am certain.

I was meant for the crowd,
I was meant for the shouting.
I was meant to raise these hands
With quiet all about me. oh, oh.

Mother, please, be proud.
Father, be forgiven.
Even though you told me
'Son, you'll never make a living.' oh, oh.

From the floorboards to the fly,
Here I was fated to reside.
And as I take my final bow,
Was there ever any doubt?
And as the spotlights fade away,
And you're escorted through the foyer,
You will resume your callow ways,
But I was meant for the stage.

The heavens at my birth
Intended me for stardom,
Rays of light shone down on me
And all my sins were pardoned.

I was meant for applause.
I was meant for derision.
Nothing short of fate itself
Has affected my decision. oh, oh.

From the floorboards to the fly,
here i was fated to reside.
And as I take my final bow,
Was there ever any doubt?
And as the spotlights fade away,
And you're escorted through the foyer,
You will resume your callow ways,
But I was meant for the stage.

sometimes an elusive polygon meditates, but a fire hydrant alwways falls

This day thing is getting real old real fast. I need something new.

the crispy paper napkin requires assistance from a grand piano

I had real Karmatic moment today. I was going shopping for a secret santa gift for a co-worker, and as I walked down the sidewalk on my street, I saw a guy pushing his truck, his wife steering from inside. I offered a hand, and helped push the truck to the curb, but it wouldn't go too far because the bumper had been crushed into the wheel well. The guy and I tried to pull it away from the tire, but it wouldn't budge. I stood up and noticed that they had a baby seat inside the truck. I inquired if everyone was okay, and he assured me that he hadbeen driving and they were ok. They semed really happy that I had stopped and helped, and I felt really good about having done it. I wished them luck and safety, and then continued to walk to a nearby bookstore. I first came across a perfect gift of The Areas of My Expertise, by John Hodgman, a book of which I am a huge fan. I was delighted to see that the book had been marked down quite a bit, and it would make a perfect gift for the co-worker, but I wanted to see what else they had. I soon came across THIS, which I think I have seen or heard of before, but had forgotten all about. The book was missing the CD, so it was out as a gift, but I thought it would make a nice little addition to my home li-bary. The sticker price was less than what the book originally had cost, but still more than I wanted to pay ($14). I went to the counter and showed the clerk/owner/guy that the CD was missing, in hopes that he would knock off a couple of bucks from the cost. No such luck. Instead he said, "Oh, no, I guess I overlooked that. Well, it's worthless then. You can just have it." So he peeled the sticker off and handed it to me on the house. I thanked him and paid for the other book, and went on my way to find another part of the secret santa gift. Further down the street, a homeless guy asked me for change. I gave him what I had in my pocket, just in case.

take the prisoner and remove him to a safe distance

Boy, I tell you what:

-these insulated coffee mugs keep your java nice and warm for quite some time.
-I have some high-ass blood pressure.
-it's sure cold today, but it's sure sunny and nice.
-Callie will now associate the Arabic word for colloquial with tangy apple. (Study Beans?)
-College kids sure think they've got it figured out, but man, whatever.
-I am freaking TIRED.

secret eating pleasure rogue economist

I finally got it. Yeesh, its sure is hard to be a consumer sometimes.

Oh, and by the way, thank you to those of you who have chosen to pitch in to my cause. The money will be used appropriately. I feel a bit like Pip in Great Expectations. So, yes thank you thank you thank you.

evoke indeed, a surly salad dressing plays pinochle with a carpet tack OR Donde' esta Juan Julio?

Today and yesterday have really been trying my patience.


First, I found out that I was charged twice for an airline ticket that exceeded 250 smackers. Then, they wouldn't take my check at the store where I am trying to get a new computer. Today, I try again and my debit card won't process because of the high amount of the charge. So, I tried to go to get some bloody lunch at a chain burrito store that specializes in Texy-Mexy type shit, and I get in line behind what I can only describe as an "Aspen" family. The kids seemed normal enough, perhaps a little spoiled, what with the way they were standing in line and gawking at the cute menu names with no regard for anyone else in line. So, the mom is wearing her sunglasses inside, has a scratchy ECU-girl voice and has on stretchy pants that she probably does yoga in. Probably in her late 30's, I imagine. No big deal, peprobably drives a Lexus SUV or something and doesn't work, chews lots of gum, used to flash her tits in college. Then there's the dad. This guy would have been better off if he would just go ahead and wear a hat that says "World's Biggest Asshole." This guy is TOTALLY BETTER THAN YOU. He orders 3, count em 3, steak tacos. (Oh, and forgive me for not mentioning this earlier, but it is essential to the story: The ladies working the line are of hispanic descent, and are probably working very, very hard to get out of their current situation and give a better life to their children, and likely don't know where Aspen is, nor do they care.) So the dad, thinking he is SO CLEVER, decides that he is going to "speak the lingo." It's cute for the lady behind the counter at first when he says, "gracias" and "como esta?" but she clearly became annoyed (and rightfully so!) when he started saying things like "MAS STEAK" "Piquito mas queso por favor, arriba!" and my favorite "Donde esta Juan Julio?" Now, I am by no means bilingual, but I understood what this guy was saying, and he was basically just saying things to be a freaking jerk. (Oh and "Viva Mexico," was another favorite.) The guy was just super picky and you could tell that he was just doing it because he probably went to Mexico a few years back and had such a great time with the locals that now he feels like part of the family. Well, sorry pops, but I got news for ya. No one liked you while you were there, they just liked your money; and this lady behind the counter doesn't like you one bit. You're spending $27 bucks on funny named burritos for your kids and your blonde wife, but she isn't seeing 10% of that. No, probably 2%, if that. I would love to see this guy walk in to a freaking Chinese Buffet and try that shit. Or better yet, go into a soul food restaurant and start saying "Hey now, jive turkey, what it is?" and see what the fuck happens. Man, douchebags sure make me mad. By the way, I am going to get that computer today if I have to shoot someone.

sometimes the minivan of a class action suit self-flagellates

Friends, it's getting to the time of year again where it is the end of it. As a forward thinker for the most part, I embrace oncoming changes in my life and lifestyle. I hope to compose a list of goals for the new year, and to granulate those furhter and further. This blog will probably undergo some changes, and hopefully go from "fun little project" to "insanely popular blog that gets lots of hits all the time" so I am going to be thinking of ways to utilize that.

I'm really excited about the new year.